Nimrod Antal is something of an anti-M. Night Shyamalan: a determinedly straightforward director who assiduously avoids ''ah-ha!'' plot twists and narrative bait-and-switches. And while that strategy proved refreshing in his previous film, the 2007 horror flick Vacancy, it severely undermines his latest effort, the bland, lightweight heist flick Armored.
Heist flicks are supposed to be complicated. That's what makes them heist flicks — typically, they involve some brilliantly detailed scheme that gradually unravels in exciting and unexpected ways. (For copious examples, check out our list of the top ten heist flicks.) Armored's slender running time, generously pegged at 88 minutes, tells you just about all you need to know about how inanely uncomplicated this film is.
Columbus Short stars as Ty, a decorated Iraq war veteran whose new job at an armored transport company doesn't pay nearly enough to cover his mortgage or feed his little brother. So when a group of his workplace cronies, led by his godfather, Mike (Matt Dillon), approach him with a plan to stage a fake hold-up and keep the contents of a high-priority bank shipment for themselves — something that surely no GED-bearing employee of a security firm has ever pondered before — he grudgingly agrees to join them.
The first wrinkle in their supposedly foolproof plan arrives quickly enough when Baines (Laurence Fishburne), a trigger-happy drunk inexplicably brought in on the scheme, blows away a homeless guy who unwittingly witnesses their shenanigans. (Because incoherent vagrants always provide reliable testimony.) That's enough to prompt good-hearted Ty to opt out of the botched heist — a non-starter for the rest of his crew, obviously — and the remainder of Armored is devoted to his efforts at evading capture and alerting the cops.
And that's it -- no unexpected twists, no extended "this is how I did it" montages, no revealing flashbacks, no serpentine subplots. Imagine Reservoir Dogs, re-cut as a completely linear film, then stripped of its snappy dialogue, innovative shot design and compelling characters. In fact, the only thing Armored has in common with Tarantino's flick is a cop with a bloody stomach wound — and even that's disappointing.
Hollywood.com rated this film 1/2 star.
Network Reviews
A Little Twist 
Posted by: LIONCAM | 3/11/2010 2:43:32 PM
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.
The movie was intense. Like the tree separate story lines and how the blended together in the end. The ending was a little sad, but I guess it had to happen that way. Worth the money go see it.
ARMORED 
Posted by: 177671708 | 1/1/2010 8:09:55 PM
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.
this movie really sucked i expected more for the people this was in the movie very bad plot
what a dope!!!! 
Posted by: softy70070 | 12/23/2009 9:59:52 PM
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.
Thanks, Jayberg. Why should I go see it? You discribed the entire movie. It's supposed to be a review, not a summary, Ding Dong.
Action Packed 
Posted by: pcrhimer | 12/23/2009 1:34:55 PM
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.
While the movie may have been a little predictable, it was certainly entertaining. It took a little time for the action to start, but once it started, it kept on rolling. I thought the movie was kind of short too. Overall, though, we really like it a lot.
DISSAPOINTING....!!! 
Posted by: lenamelekova | 12/11/2009 6:05:38 AM
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.
this movie was so predictable.. nothing new .. nothing interesting.. i thought it will be a great action.. it turn into a waste of time..
Armored 
Posted by: RONLYKENS | 12/10/2009 11:12:15 AM
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.
A lot of action and surprises.
Show Up To Work One Day And Steal $42 Million With No Plan 
Posted by: jayberg777 | 12/4/2009 8:51:19 PM
0 of 0 people found this review helpful.
Ty Hackett has just come home from armed duty in Iraq and on his 2nd day of being an armored car guard he learns that his co workers will be stealing $42 million dollars tomorrow without anyone knowing. Their plan is to stage a fake robbery but that is all. There is also a side story revolving around Ty because his parents are dead and he must be a father to his younger brother but has child services in hot pursuit . The first 40 minutes of this suspense action movie is a rush with two stories building up around Ty and the group stealing the money. With Laurence Fishbourne (Matrix), Matt Dillon (Wild Things, Crash), Jean Reno (Ronin, Mission Impossible)and Amaury Nolasco ( Prison Break)this cast of well proven talent is capable of more. After the first half of the movie the story drops to the gound. A group of people plotting to steal $42 million dollars with no getaway plans is unrealistic expectations. Is there a getaway plane? A bus to drive accross Mexico? A boat? Nope. Nuttin'. It should come to no surprise that they are unsuccessful.
